Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Twas the day after christmas

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through my heart,
not an emotion untouched, not even one part.
A stillness persists, darkness of the sky
as I awake before dawn, prior to the fly.

As love, peace and happiness linger in the air,
The true spirit of Christmas, leaves no room for despair.
A gentle kiss, shared between lovers,
the warmth of togetherness, before we leave the covers.

The children still nestled snug in their beds.
While visions of the last three days, danced in my head.
Dirty dishes and wrapping paper strung through the home,
reminds us to be grateful, of the moments shared in this dome .

The moon still visible between the dusk and the dawn,
as the snow has completely covered the lawn.
The brisk wind upon my face,
awakens me to the knowledge of blessed grace.

As I drive to the hotel to share our last meal.. till who knows when,
I feel my heart sink down to my shins.
Do not be mistaken, I am SO blessed within,
But.... such a short trip it has been.

Two thousand miles between our lives,
makes it so difficult to say goodbye. 
But dad always says...
... until we meet again
We smile at miles.... and so it begins.

Memories fill my mind,
as tears fall from the skies.
This bittersweet ending
is just a new beginning.

A new year ahead,
left over monkey bread.
A time to renew and manifest
is the present quest.

To love and learn,
earn and grow.
Live and prosper,
watch me grow!
















Sunday, November 25, 2012

the beginning

Living freely, what does that mean to you? This concept just presented itself to me this past year..more of an "aha" moment..I guess I never thought about it before... living freely, following my heart and truly enjoying this life's journey.

I was caught in the rat race. A spirit trapped in this human body, doing what society wanted me to do or so I thought..I was brought up to love, respect others and work hard. And so I did.
I was told life is not easy, a penny saved is a penny earned and so forth. And so I believed.
Hmmm..I thought to myself, OK..I am in my late 30's..I have dealt with things like being a single mom, death of my mom and brother, ups and downs of a marriage, challenges that 4 completely different children present and so forth.
All well maintaining a job to assist in supporting my family. I felt as if I was running in circles. Work mentally, spiritually and physically exhausted me as a nurse in a nursing home..working short staffed, attempting to be supportive of families, loving to the dying and caring to the confused..following "corporate" guidelines that frustrated me. Giving sometimes 50 pills to elderly, that #1 have no idea what these pills are for and #2 their bodies cant handle them..and then to top it off they were fed crap for food.
While working full time, I cooked dinner most nights, cleaned the house on my days off, played taxi driver for soccer, dance lessons and other activities. Working this last position was the icing on the cake for me, it made me think about all my past jobs..disgusted in how "corporate" business is..the greed, the power..all at another poor souls expense..This is health care..I chose this path as I wanted to love and respect others and care for them. I wanted to make a difference.
But what happened is, that due to policies and procedures and greedy employers or maybe it does really stem from the government...I was completely burnt out.(those in health care..I am sure can relate) I gave so much of ME at work I had nothing left for home. I was too tired..on all levels..to "deal" with my family. I didn't want to be THAT mom. The crunchy, mean, angry mom who was too tired to play with her kids. But that's who I became and I hated it.I didn't like me..
In April of this year, Enough was enough, I wanted ME back. Who am I, what do I really want out of this life? What do I want to teach my children?
 I sought out like minded spiritual friends, whom supported me.  So I quit my job, after consulting my husband of course. I prayed and meditated for guidance. I then waited..and realized
I know I am a healer, I am here to help others.
I found an online program that was perfect. I would study to become a holistic health coach. I would learn about how nutrition and primary foods can enhance your life. How awesome, food can change my life..I learned that obesity, diabetes and heart disease.. can be prevented, maybe even reversed with diet and lifestyle changes. I learned that when your primary foods are in balance-career, relationships, spirituality and physical activity-your health and life will be in balance.
I will work for myself. I will make a difference in the world and help others, one person at a time! I will be available for my children.I am pursuing this career I am so passionate about that it intertwines with my personal life creating a life I love to live,one full of joy, a life I created,
And so life continues... I can be me, I am a happy, loving child of the universe creating balance. Showing my children, that following their dreams is how they can live freely. Not to settle for unhappiness, only you can change your thought pattern, belief system and your life! I will NOT tell them life is hard, I will SHOW them anything is possible through self motivation, determination and success with love. Always remembering the laws of the universe. What you give, you will receive.
I will spread love, peace and harmony as a ripple effect through the world.  Life is a journey of lessons learned and I am so grateful to be provided this path and live freely.
namaste
beth

Monday, November 12, 2012

Living Freely in Illinois 2012

I was blessed with the opportunity to travel to Illinois this past weekend and "re-enact" A long time friends wedding. Originally from Upstate New York, Carrie came home to get married back in July and was married with family and friends. She and husband RJ decided to have a second reception back in their home town in Illinois to include their local friends and RJ's family who were not able to travel to NY.

It was an amazing weekend, I arrived in Peoria on Friday afternoon, not a minute to spare..shopping and cooking underway! Carrie has planned for 2 weddings you could say and our inside joke was "50 states of marriage"..Colorado in April?? Carrie and I were up till about 230 in the morning preparing food. Exhausted with giddiness, I passed out for what felt like a minute and awoke at 730 and began again!

As this was round two for us, preparing and BEING in a wedding..we were more organized. It was a "green themed" wedding. Yes it was less expensive to cook, decorate and clean ourselves but phew exhausting as well. IT was well worth it!!

The invitations were made from tree free paper and created by myself for the first wedding and Carrie for this event. Paperless RSVP methods of emailing and calling were used. We utilized used and borrowed items as much as possible to be Eco-friendly.

The ceremony: Carrie and RJ's local Paster and fellow church members were in attendance.  Everyone pulled together, donating food, time and love. It was a beautiful feeling of connection with most of these folks I have never met. The Paster gave a brief service, Carrie and RJ re-said their vows and I read psalm 23 per their request.

The scene: Hippies at heart, earth loving creatures, Carri and RJ had the most "fitting facility", an old boy scout camp in the woods, surrounded by trees, wild life and lakes. It was magical! We decorated ecliptic-with mismatched juice glasses, plates and cloth napkins (items either donated or found at thrift shops). Theme colors Sage and Thyme..which are her children's names..Table clothes were discounted white fabric that she will re-use again in her sewing creations. Centerpieces were mason jars filled with birdseed and wild grasses she picked herself. Pressed leaves covered the tables along with oranges with cloves. Even my dress was found at a thrift shop called "used but not abused".

The food: Carrie strived to have local foods and or organic foods at her wedding! We made slow cooked ribs that were coated in brown sugar, slow baked and then grilled, spinach mashed potatoes that were my FAVORITE, organic mac and cheese, turkey, organic salad, fruit trays, veggie trays, cheese and relish trays..
I even made a home made wassel, yum.

Party on: RJ's brother and his band played in the evening as we danced the night away. We also let our silly side out by taking photo's with props! I especially enjoyed being blond for a moment!!

How beautiful for two kind souls to meet in this life, fall in love and share a life together..I wish nothing but love and light for my long distance friends and remind all of you that love is the most important thing in this life!

Namaste








Beth